41 Weeks - Baby, You're LATE!

December 25, 2014

Photo Thoughts: Merry Christmas!  Have you ever seen someone more pregnant than me?  41 weeks- sheesh.  Even the pregnancy websites and apps have run out of fruits for me to compare my baby to, so I will just settle for standing by our mini Christmas tree and holding the "My First Christmas" outfit that our little guy was supposed to wear today.  Womp. Also- Christmas day + reaching 41 weeks = no makeup, no real clothes for the day!

How I'm Feeling: On a positive note- I'm excited for Christmas of course! And I got to sleep in really ridiculously late today.  But aside from that, I have quite honestly been a total scrooge and just generally unpleasant to be around this week.  The end of pregnancy is rough- physically and emotionally.  And I'd say it gets even harder with each day past your due date you go.  I've been really emotional- just about anything makes me cry, I've basically stopped returning text messages or answering phone calls (no news mean, NO NEWS people!), and I'm just kind of feeling discouraged and frustrated with my body (why doesn't it know what to do?!).  I try to remind myself that having an overdue baby is much better than having a premature baby and that I should be grateful that I have had such a healthy pregnancy, but it is still HARD.  David, like most males I'd say, is generally at a loss of what to do when women get emotional, but he has been so supportive this week and has been a good voice of reason when I lose perspective.  

This photo was taken as I laid in bed after waking up on the morning after my due date. My view was the bassinet currently serving as a pillow holder, and the very gray and rainy weather outside.  Womp. Womp. 

Keeping this on file in my phone for the unlucky person that pushes me over the edge

Baby/Bump: No one has a comparison fruit or vegetable for me this week. Baby is the size of a baby that needs to come out- let's just leave it at that.  

The bump is getting more and more impressive by the day.  David is newly impressed each morning with my continued progress toward (and past?) "large and in charge."  

Symptoms: The usual- back aches, tail bone pain, sore ribs, and most of all ALL THE EMOTIONS AND HORMONES.

Weight: Same this week. Amazingly.  I've been pigging out on Christmas treats... although I seem to have less and less appetite for actual meals.  So at 41 weeks, my total weight gain stands at 27 pounds.  

What I'm Loving: I'm tempted to say nothing, but in attempts to not be a total negative Nancy, I will say that I am still loving and really trying to enjoy feeling these last (however many) days that I will get to feel my baby move in my belly.  Although sometimes it does feel like I am going to be pregnant forever, I know that I won't, and I know for sure that I will miss these movements.  

What I'm Anticipating: BABY'S ARRIVAL.  I mean, it's not like I'm looking forward to labor and delivery and that whole event, but I feel like I'm about 8943890 weeks pregnant, so I'm finally at the point of just being ready to be DONE. It is still so crazy to me that something that is such a major life event is so unpredictable and beyond my control.  It's hard not knowing.  But I do know he will be here soon, and I can't wait to meet this little stinker.  

Sleep: No problem sleeping, and I'm SO glad!  But I do get pretty sad for a few minutes each morning that I wake up and realize, "Oh, nothing happened last night. I'm still here in my bed. Stiiiiiill pregnant."
  
Exercise: Walking 1-2 miles per day and bouncing like a crazy person on the exercise ball.  I get very crampy and have some contractions while I walk, but as soon as I get home and sit down, they immediately stop.  I've also recently started forcing myself to climb the stairs 3-5 times each time I need to go upstairs.  This has also resulted in me finding every reason not to go upstairs.  

Movement: Baby boy is still moving a good amount, although it is definitely slowing down a little bit, as he is obviously running out of space.  I notice he is most active in the evenings.  When he does move, it is so strong, and I can tell that there is so little that is actually separating HIM from the outside.  Sometimes it feels like he is actually trying to break out of there!

Boy or Girl: Baby boy!

Milestones: Is reaching 41 weeks a milestone?  It should be. 

Doctor Updates: I had a 40w5d appointment with a nurse practitioner on Tuesday.  I'm still at the same 2 cm that I was last week, but I'm 75% effaced now- but apparently that means nothing to my body. I was so desperate for something to happen with this baby, that I even requested ANOTHER membrane sweep. I was convinced the one last week was going to be successful since I did have some good signs shortly afterwards (I'll spare you), but it wasn't. So desperate times call for desperate requests.  Second time's the charm?  Anyways, it was a generally frustrating appointment. I left with an induction date scheduled (which I'm not announcing btw- partly because I don't want it to be real, and partly because if I make it to that point, I'd like to still have some element of surprise in baby's arrival), but I wasn't happy about having to schedule that.  I was proud of myself for asking lots of hard questions of her, like "why is this considered medically necessary in MY case- especially since I haven't had any problems in this pregnancy, and both baby and I are still very healthy?" She gave me a generic answer about how when you approach 42 weeks, the placenta can deteriorate, and she kept throwing out the scare term of "risk of fetal demise."  I'm not one to mess around when people drop terms like "fetal demise," but I do feel like she was somewhat trying to scare me.  So I left with the official eviction notice, but told her I would like to discuss it with my husband and have the option to call the next morning if I wanted to postpone induction another few days. I talked to David when I got home, and we decided to go ahead with what is scheduled.  But fingers, toes, eyes crossed that this baby comes on his own before then. 

The official eviction notice. Let's just hope I can throw this away without use...

Final Thoughts: I think the biggest thing I'm struggling with is just letting go of this idea I had in my head of going into labor on my own.  It was a scary thought, but somewhat exciting too to wonder about where I would be when it happened, imagining waking David in the middle of the night or calling him at work, the hurried drive to the hospital, etc.  So it's difficult now to accept that there's a pretty good chance that my labor process and the beginning of the end of this pregnancy will likely look very different than I had imagined.  It's hard to think that maybe my body just doesn't know what to do. My pregnancy has truly been nearly perfect, so it's hard to accept that my labor might have to begin with drugs.  I'm in a big "trying to let go" mindset right now.  It's hard, but I'm working on it.  David is good at reminding me that the important thing is healthy baby and healthy mom- so I'm trying to just focus on that. 

But you better believe that I will still be hoping and praying to go into labor on my own up until the very minute that we have to arrive for induction. Wish us luck!

One thing is for sure though- there will NOT be a 42 week update! :-)