{Hidden Baby Chronicles} Week 20 - A Banana

July 31, 2014

HALF WAY BAKED!  Can't believe it!  It's crazy to wonder if maybe I'm even a little MORE than half way, or if maybe baby will be late and so maybe I'm not QUITE half way yet...

Will we keep the boy shoes or the girl shoes?!...

Photo Thoughts:
I bought this new maternity shirt from Target, and while I really like it, I realize that it definitely has more length than I need at this point- it doesn't look right with shorts without a big belly to cover.  I'll have to put it away for a few more weeks before wearing it again... or maybe get some leggings to try it out with. 

How I'm Feeling: Really great, really lucky, really enjoying it.

Baby/Bump: Baby H is the size (well, length) of a banana this week. He/she has working taste buds now, so he/she is sure to like chocolate by now, just like me. :-)  He/she is also swallowing amniotic fluid now. Yuck- stop that! 

The bump still hasn't "popped" yet, but I have a feeling that is right around the corner.  My belly is getting super hard... which is a strange sensation.  I know that belly is growing though, because the one pair of jeans that still fits me are really pushing the limits (and that's with the belly belt). 

Symptoms: My face acne seems to be clearing up a bit (knock on wood), but the oh so attractive chest acne- not so much. GO AWAY!  I can't really any other note-worthy symptoms at this point.

Weight: +0 this week.  Which makes sense since I packed on 3 el beez last week after my trip home.  So I'm still hanging in there at +10.0 total.

What I'm Anticipating: I've been really looking forward to our ultrasound TOMORROW!  Will Baby H be a baby boy or baby girl?!  Aside from finding out the sex of the baby, I'm mostly just excited to see our little bub again... and even a little sad that it will likely be the last ultrasound we have of the pregnancy.  Hoping for lots of images of a healthy baby!!

Not that I'm counting down or anything...

What I'm Stressing About/Worries: Kind of baby related, kind of not... but I'm starting to stress about our house search.  Our apartment lease is up next month, and we signed a contract with a real estate agent this week to help us find a rental house.  The market is just so crazy right now, prices are high, and houses are moving quickly... it all makes me nervous.  I mean, it's not like we will be homeless, but I'm just stressing about going through the whole process, the actual move, etc.  But it will be nice to finally be in a place that is bigger than 700 sq. ft. where we can finally get all of our stuff out of storage that's been packed away since before our move to Australia.  Think good real estate thoughts for us!

Sleep: Sleep is great.  I fall asleep quickly and sleep very soundly, aside from a trip to the restroom in the middle of the night... although this isn't even happening every night anymore.  I'm still managing to do a "modified stomach sleep" with the help of a little throw pillow that props me up at the perfect angle so as not to totally squish the baby. 

Movement: Not yet... I don't think... This week I had a handful of occasions where I felt something that felt like gas bubbles, but not... (sorry, that's the only way I can accurately describe it).  I'm still not ready to call it baby movement, since I feel like that's something that when it happens I will know for sure.  This just feels too "maybe" to me... but it's still exciting to know that I will be feeling that soon!

Boy or Girl: If baby cooperates, we will know TOMORROW!!!

Milestones: 20 Weeks = Halfway!  I'd say that's a pretty big milestone!

{Hidden Baby Chronicles} 19 Weeks: A Mango

July 24, 2014

Photo Thoughts: Loving my first pair of maternity shorts (thanks, Target)!  They already have me wondering why DOES anyone wear shorts/pants without elastic waistbands?!  SO comfortable!  Who needs zippers and buttons? 

How I'm Feeling: I still feel pretty darn good, and I promise- I really do know how lucky I am.  I did have a little bit of a tough week body image-wise after a totally rude comment made by a co-worker (more on that later). 

Baby/Bump: Baby is the size of a mango this week.  He/she measures 6 inches and weighs in at about a half pound!  Supposedly lots of sensory development is going on this week.  Also developing is a gross-sounding white protective coating covering his/her skin.  Yay...

As far as the bump goes, I wouldn't say that I have "popped" just yet, but I am definitely noticing some pretty significant rounding of the belly.  Right now it seems to be very low, but it all of a sudden feels SO hard- which is a little strange to feel.  I'm excited for the belly to "pop" enough that I can actually wear tighter fitting clothing to show it off, without worrying people will think it is a gut instead of a baby bump. 

Symptoms: Acne, acne GO AWAY!  Ugh, I'm over it.  I'm still having odd dreams most nights, too.

Weight: +10.0.  Up 3 pounds from two weeks ago when I last checked my weight.  I am attributing at least part of that to all the yummy Phoenix Mexican food I ate- yum!!!

What I'm Anticipating: Just a little over a week to go before we have our anatomy scan/ultrasound and get to hopefully find out if we will be having a baby boy or a baby girl!  Getting so excited!

What I'm Stressing About/Worries: I wouldn't really say that this is stressing me out just yet, but I am starting to become pretty aware that I am approaching the half-way point with this pregnancy and that I have done basically nothing to prepare.  A lot of me just feels like I have to put all those things on the back burner until we find a place to live.  Baby things are very much toward the bottom of the priority list at this point- that's just the reality of it.  Still plenty of time though, right?

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: I LOVED all the amazing food I ate during my visit to Phoenix.  Baby liked it all too :-)

What I'm Missing:  I definitely missed having a drink or a glass of wine when I met up with old friends from home.  Usually it doesn't bother me too much, but this time I would have LOVED to have had a drink or two. 

Sleep: It was good to sleep in my old bed at my parents' house, but I was also anxious to get back to my own bed in Houston.  I'm still sleeping really well.  And I'm even not getting up every night to pee anymore- maybe every other night only.  Who knows how long THAT lucky streak will last?...  In other sleep-related news, I am finally noticing that yes, it is indeed getting kind of uncomfortable to sleep on my stomach.  It doesn't hurt or anything, it just feels like I am laying on top of something hard... which I guess I am.  For now, I'm still hanging on to sleeping on my stomach, so I've figured out that if I hug a pillow kind of under one arm and partly under my stomach, it tilts me just enough that I'm not flat on my stomach and it is still a comfortable position to sleep in.  I know I need to just break down and buy one of those crazy preggo body pillows, but I'll see if I can hold out for a few more weeks. 

Exercise:  I definitely slacked while on my trip.  But I am proud to say that I DID manage to work up the motivation to jog three times while home... in the like 90 degree 9AM Phoenix heat! 

Movement: Nope.  I'm excited to feel those first movements in the next few weeks hopefully!

Boy or Girl:  We will find out in a little over one week!  Can't wait! 

Milestones: Second flight while pregnant (Phx - Hou).

Highlights of the Week: I enjoyed the last few days of my trip to Phoenix.  I had a great time, and it was so great to catch up with friends and family.  Although I did kind of feel like I was kind of a disappointing preggo, because everyone that I met up with I think was expecting me to have a noticeable bump already and have lots of stories about pregnancy symptoms.  But alas, I am the most boring preggo of all time.  I got a few really sweet baby gifts from friends, and I made one of my first baby purchases- a koala onesie from H&M to go along with the koala onesie that Jen sent me.  Just a little obsessed...

Arizona onesie - How impossibly small/cute is this?! 

Entertaining (or Offensive) Question/Comment of the Week: I actually didn't think I would have to include this prompt for quite a while still.  Boy was I wrong.  On my first day back to work, my boss walked in the room, glanced at me for probably less than 2 seconds and said, "Well, I can tell that you gained a lot of weight on your trip."  No seriously.  I'm not making that up- she actually said that.  To my face.  I did a little nervous laugh, didn't say a word, put away what I was working on, and escaped into the next room where I promptly started crying.  My second pregnancy hormonal meltdown ensued.  I know all the things that people tell you to make you feel better are absolutely right... things like- "you are growing a person!," "the extra weight is for your baby," "it will all be worth it when you hold that baby in your arms."  But that still didn't make me feel any better.  I was truly hurt.  As I've mentioned here before, I am definitely struggling with my body image during this pregnancy a lot more than I thought I would.  I do think some of that has to do with the fact that a.) I have always struggled with my weight and been someone who gains weight very easily and b.) I was about ten pounds heavier than I like to be when I got pregnant.  But it is just never fun when someone actually has the audacity to voice some of your deepest insecurities.  I just cannot believe how people seem to absolutely lose their filter around pregnant people.  It's as if once you are pregnant your body is automatically up for public analysis and commentary.  Not cool people, not cool. 

{Hidden Baby Chronicles} 18 Weeks: A Sweet Potato

July 17, 2014

Photo Thoughts: This week's photos come to you from Phoenix, Arizona- which explains the change in background and the addition of puppies. I'm loving Roxy smelling my feet in the first photo and Lola freaking out in the last one.  Not so much loving that I didn't realize until this photo how seriously wide these horizontal stripes on my new dress make me look.  Boooo!  I'm definitely noticing my belly getting rounder.. but I'm wondering how much of that is food baby vs. baby :-) 

How I'm Feeling:  Broken record here.  Still feeling good.  Still feeling lucky that I feel so "normal."

Baby/Bump: Baby H is tipping the scales at 6.7 oz and 5.6 inches this week- the size (well, the length) of a sweet potato).  Supposedly there's lots of kicking, hiccuping, thumb-sucking, twisting, etc. going on in there, but I sure can't feel any of that yet. 

Symptoms: I'm the most boring pregnant lady ever.  When I told that to my doctor last week, he just said, "good, that's just the way you want it."  I guess he is right.  But there are still a few minor symptoms that are sticking around: face/chest acne doesn't seem to be improving much at all yet, I'm still having some wacky dreams, and I've had another couple bouts of heartburn. 

Weight: I'm visiting family in Phoenix this weekend, so I decided to skip the weigh-in this week.  Let's just pretend I maintained +7.0 from last week... ha!

What I'm Anticipating: Starting to get excited to have another ultrasound on August 1 and to (hopefully) find out if we are having a baby boy or a baby girl. 

What I'm Stressing About/Worries: We turned in our 60 day notice to move out of our apartment.  BUT.. we don't have a place to live just yet.  So that's a little scary.  Keep your fingers crossed for us...

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: No real cravings/aversions, but I have definitely been enjoying lots of yummy Mexican food in Phoenix!

What I'm Missing: I've been spending some of my time in Phoenix catching up with friends over dinner or lunch.  During these times, I have kind of been wishing I could have a drink (or three), but alas, I cannot. 

Sleep: Sleep is so good!  And I've been sleeping really well in my old bed at my parents' house.  Their mini dachshund even joined me one night. 

Exercise: I definitely have not been keeping up with my 5-6 workouts a week on this little trip home.  I went for a run one morning, but it was like 92 degrees... so you can imagine how well that went. 

Movement: Nope.  And I actually get a little bit annoyed when people ask me if I've felt anything yet.  Only because I do still think it is pretty early, and it also just kind of makes me worry when people ask all the time.  Soon enough though, I'm sure...

Boy or Girl: We will know (hopefully) on August 1!

Milestones: First flight while preggo.  Is that a milestone?  My doctor said the security screening machines are fine to use, but I decided to opt out, just to be extra safe.  Other than that, it was just like normal travelling.

Highlights of the Week: Last weekend we had a friend of ours take some photos for us that we will use for our big pregnancy reveal/announcement.  I also bought some boy/girl props and got a few shots with those, too, so we can have a "gender reveal" photo as well. 

Of course, being in Phoenix is also a huge highlight.  It has been a lot of fun to spend some time with family and to catch up with friends.  David had to stay behind and work, but I wish he was here. 

Another highlight this week was getting the test results back from the blood draw they did at my last appointment.  They were testing for neural tube defects, and everything came back negative.  Whoo hoo!  Keep growing strong and healthy, baby!

{Hidden Baby Chronicles} 17 Weeks - An Onion

July 10, 2014


Photo Thoughts: Check out my new dress!  I bought a couple new sun dresses this week, since it seems like sun dresses are going to be the way to go to get me and my wardrobe though this summer.  Also- this week I got my first baby clothing gift!  More on that below.

How I'm Feeling: Good this week! It was fun to get some new clothes- even thought it's hot as heck, I think summer seems to be an easier time to be pregnant (wardrobe-wise).  I had my 16 week appointment this week, and it was nice to have a little check-in and hear Baby H's heartbeat.  Sometimes I think to myself "Are we sure there is really a baby in there?  So it's nice to check in with the doctor and get some real life evidence to remind me that yes, indeed, there is a baby in there.

Baby/Bump: I've got a stinky 5.1 inch, 5.9 oz onion growing in there this week.  His/her cartilage is beginning to harden into bone and he/she is starting to put some meat/fat on those bones.  However, I think my baby is a little confused, because a lot of that extra fat seems to be showing up on my bones.  Sigh.

Symptoms:  Still pretty darn lucky in this department.  My face/chest acne doesn't seem to be improving much at all yet, I'm still having some wacky dreams, and I've had another couple bouts of heartburn. 

Weight: +7.0 total.  Although my doctor's scale said a little more, but for my ego's sake I'm just going to go off of my once weekly home weigh-in that I do first thing in the morning without heavy things like clothes and shoes on. 

What I'm Anticipating: I'm anxious to get the test results back from the blood work that I had done at my appointment this week.  I think they were testing for neural tube defects.  I'm also really looking forward to this coming weekend when we will have a friend take a few photos for us to use for a pregnancy announcement!  We've decided to just wait to make the big news public (social media) until we know the sex.  We've waited this long already, what's a few more weeks? 

What I'm Stressing About/Worries: On Monday morning on my way to work, I side swiped the passenger side of the car on a pole while backing out in our apartment garage.  That was pretty stressful, and something I'm SO mad at myself about.  To me it doesn't look that bad, but I did get one quote to fix it, and they said it was $1700 worth of damage.  Ugh! I want a two second do-over of that moment!

Sleep: Still really good.  I'm still managing to sleep on my stomach sometimes, although when I do I can kind of feel something hard in my stomach.  The doctor said it's fine for me to keep sleeping that way, and that I will eventually reach a point where I just can't anymore.  And I'm guessing that time isn't too far off since like I said last week, I do seem to naturally be switching over to my side or back during the night anyways. 

Boy or Girl: Still really no inklings one way or the other.  One day at work this week, not more than 10 seconds after I walked in the door, a co-worker took one look at me and said, "Oh you're so having a boy."  I asked her why she thought that, and she said, "well, you are totally breaking out."  Gee, thanks for pointing out my breakout.  I actually was surprised that I wasn't all that offended- more just amused.  People say ridiculous things, and it's also funny to hear people's "theories" about if they think you are having a boy or girl. Everything is totally contradictory.  It just comes down to 50/50 people.  Oh, but the date IS set for the anatomy scan- August 1.  So if all goes well and baby H is cooperative, we should know then!

Highlights of the Week: We went to Austin over the 4th of July weekend to attend a housewarming party for some friends of ours.  It was a lot of fun to see their new place- I'm glad we went!  It was even more exciting because we found out that they are also expecting- in February sometime.  So it's fun to have another preggo friend. 

Another highlight this week was hearing the heart beat again at my 16 week appointment.  This time it was 165 bmp.  It is just the best sound to hear!

And yet another great part of the week was receiving the sweetest baby gift in the mail from my friend, Jen.  Jen and I went to college together and were roommates and travel partners in Spain.  She also visited David and I while we were in Australia, so she understands my obsession with love for koalas.  This was just the cutest gift, and the first item of baby clothing that anyone has gifted me!  Thanks, Jen!

22 Weeks: A Papaya

August 14, 2014

Photo Thoughts:
Baby bump is definitely there!  I think this papaya is freakishly large.  Drowning my belly in stretch mark creams this week. 

How I'm Feeling: Feeling good! The belly is definitely growing, and so I'm starting to feel more "legit pregnant."  I've also started feeling some faint movements (more on that below), and that is so exciting and fun!

Baby/Bump:
Baby boy is the size of a papaya (about 10-11 inches ish).  I'm pretty sure that these measurements have now switched over to including head to feet, whereas before, they were just head to bum.  Also, the papaya I bought seems totally huge to me.  Anyway, back to baby- his face is fully formed now and he is starting to sleep in cycles.  I hope he's smart and makes those sleep cycles happen at night time- fat chance, right? 

I can't figure out how to make this app call my baby a "he" instead of a "she" now

The belly is definitely growing... and quickly now.  It is a little weird though how the size seems to vary by the day or time of day.  Also, certain clothes seem to make it look more bump-y than others (see a super bumpalicious outfit below).  One day this week, I had a dull pain on my belly throughout the day, and I'm guessing they might have been "growing pains."  And then the very next day, in the same spot where I felt that dull pain, I was feeling a strange burning/itching sensation... it almost felt like a sunburn.  And then the next day, I could definitely tell that my uterus had all of a sudden grown to be just above my belly button finally.  So crazy!

Symptoms: Minimal still. I guess the growing pains mentioned above are new. And I'm still dealing with the acne, but now that I was cleared to use some topical medication, things are definitely improving. 

Weight: +2.0.. which takes me to a total of 12.  I'm guessing that with the belly expanding quickly like it has this week, the el beez may start adding up quickly from here on out...

Stretch Marks: None yet (well none that I didn't already have from puberty).  But with the rapid belly growth, I've been slathering on the belly creams.  I know there is no evidence that they really work, but I figure it can't hurt.  The fact that I already have them is a pretty good indicator that I will get them again... but maybe I can at least take an active role in somehow minimizing that...

What I'm Loving: I'm loving feeling a little more like a real pregnant lady now that I finally have a recognizable bump! I'm also love love LOVING feeling some movements finally!

What I'm Stressing About/Worries: The house hunt has gotten super stressful this week.  I must have looked at 20 houses this week.  Just about everyday after work, I would meet our real estate agent to check out some house possibilities.  It's just so frustrating because 1.) everything is SO expensive in this market right now, and 2.) things are moving SO quickly, that by the time you get to see a house, there is often already an application/offer on it.  I'm starting to get pretty worried about our scheduled move out date since we don't yet have anywhere to move TO.  I know it will all work out, but I'm just ready for it to work out NOW. 

What I'm Missing: David was drinking a glass of red wine on the couch next to me last weekend, and the smell of it made me want a glass of my own so badly. 
 
Sleep: Still sleeping really well.  I still have to fall asleep in my "modified stomach position," but each morning I now wake up on my left side.  It's pretty convenient that my body just seems to know that I need to be sleeping that way all on its own.  My hips are starting to hurt some from sleeping in that position.  Counting down the days until we get our king bed from storage so I can get a pregnancy pillow to help with this. 

Exercise: Totally had almost NO time for workouts this week with all the house hunting I've been doing.  Maybe next week...

Movement: Yes! Finally! I had been feeling a few little and faint "gas bubble sensations" for the past week or so, but I wasn't ready to officially label that baby movement... it just seemed a little questionable still to me.  But this week, I felt a few much bigger movements.  On Monday night, I was laying in bed, and I could feel the baby moving.  I put my hand on my stomach, but it was hard to tell if I was feeling the sensation from the inside or if I was actually feeling it through my stomach.  David was on his phone in bed next to me, so I told him to put his hand on my stomach to see if he could feel it.  I felt a movement and asked him if he felt it.  He said, "that was YOU moving!" It wasn't of course, but I told him to wait and sure enough, the baby moved again, and he felt it again.  His face was priceless.  His eyes just got big and he said, "I need to tell him to stop kicking his mom!"  I haven't felt any big movements since then that I can detect from the outside, so I'm glad David got to feel those ones. 

Most of the time the movements still feel like gas bubbles, but sometimes there are bigger ones.  It's hard to describe it, but most of them (as gross as it is to describe it this way) totally do feel like gas bubbles.  I've also felt a few movements that I think might be more like baby rolls, and those feel a lot like when you're on an elevator or a roller coaster and your stomach has that dropping sensation- it makes me feel almost motion sick for a fraction of a second.  Another way I can describe what the movements feel like is that they sometimes feel like a muscle twitch.  It is SUCH a strange sensation, but so totally cool!  I can't wait until he gets stronger and I start to feel bigger, more consistent movements. 

Boy or Girl: Baby BOY!

Highlights of the Week: Baby movement and belly popping!  We also went to a baby shower for our friends Nary and Gerald who are having a baby girl (due just 5 days before us)!  It was fun to see them and compare pregnancy notes!  We also discussed the possibility of an arranged marriage ;-) 

{Hidden Pregnancy Chronicles} 16 Weeks - An Avocado

July 3, 2014

16 Weeks = 2/5 of the way there!  Crazy-town!

Photo Thoughts: Looking the same, mostly.  I guess the very low area of my stomach IS starting to look kind of rounded. Also- it is really bothering me that my necklace is off-center. 

How I'm Feeling: Just about all of "our people" know about our big news now, so the excitement is really starting to set in.  Although I will say, that things do still feel mostly surreal and abstract the majority of the time.  I go back and forth between periods of time where I think about being pregnant and having a baby all the time, to other periods of time where I basically forget I am pregnant all together. 

Baby/Bump: Baby H is the size of an avocado this week.  Although I can't say that I've ever encountered a 4.6 inch avocado...  He/she is growing hair, lashes, and eyebrows (perhaps related to a new symptom I experienced this week?).  And I'd imagine that being David's child, this little avocado is probably already quite gifted in the hair department.  Baby's hearing is also developing. 

Symptoms: I'm still feeling very lucky to have so few symptoms- I feel mostly the same as normal.  I'll take it (while knocking on every wood surface possible)!  I'm still getting lots of face and chest acne, so don't be too jealous of my lack of other symptoms.  A new symptom that I experienced this week was heartburn.  We went out to Mexican food on Friday night, and I felt it before we even left the restaurant.  It wasn't TOO bad, but definitely noticeable.  And if what all those old wives say is true, then the appearance of this new symptom would be right on cue with the fact that the baby is supposedly growing hair this week.  I'd honestly be shocked if this child wasn't born with a full head of dark hair (like his/her dad)... so I'm assuming that this heartburn won't be going anywhere anytime soon. 

Weight: +6.5.  Meh... That's a totally good number, and usually I'm OK with it... but then sometimes I get a little down on myself (and stressed about post-baby weight loss) when I consider that that 6.5 el beez is on top of the 8-10 pounds I gained in Australia and hadn't managed to shed before I got pregnant.  Oh well. 

What I'm Loving: Peanut butter.  I usually have a spoonful (or two...) when I get home from work every day.

What I'm Anticipating: Same as last week- still waiting on that "real bump" that's not just chub/food baby.  I'm not exactly in a huge hurry, because I know it will be around for plenty of time once it's here.  It's more just that I am impatient to know WHEN it will appear. 

What I'm Stressing About/Worries:  Not a whole lot- pretty smooth sailing right now.  I have a 16 week appointment next week, but I'm not really stressed about it. 

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: I'm enjoying being "off" any sort of eating regimen for the first time in... many years.  It's so nice to not constantly think about what food and how much, but I'm trying to still not go too crazy.  As far as eating goes, I have noticed that there no longer seems to be any separation between hungry and not hungry.  As in... I never feel "just a little bit hungry" ever anymore.  I'll just be not hungry, chillin', not hungry, not hungry, STARVING.  Just like that.  So I have been trying to carry a little snack around with me in my purse in case starving/hangry sneaks up on me.  Similarly, I have also noticed that I get full a lot faster than I used to, and being full is a lot more uncomfortable feeling than it used to be. 

Sleep: Still sleeping great.  I have noticed that my body has completely on its own pretty much transitioned me away from sleeping on my stomach.  I still have to fall asleep that way inititally, but anytime I wake up, I am always on my back or my side.  Good work, body. I'm trying to put off buying one of those enormous preggo pillows until I absolutely need one.  And so far, I'm totally fine the way I am.  David will be happy for all this extra time without the equivalent of a third person in our bed.

Dreams: Still with the wacky dreams!  This dream of the week this week was an eventful one.  David left for work extra early one morning.  After he left, I rolled over to his side of the bed (or so I thought), and went right back to sleep- although I don't think it was a very deep sleep.  I had a dream during that time that someone was pounding on the door trying to get in (scary!), and so in my half dreaming/half awake state, I felt like I needed to quickly get out of bed. So I quickly rolled over to get out of bed and BAM. On the floor.  Yep, I rolled out of bed completely.  Turns out I wasn't on his side of the bed afterall, so when I rolled, I was rolling off the bed, instead of across the bed.  It was a rough way to wake up!  Pretty funny though.

Exercise: Still clocking in 5-6 workouts a week. I figure I should bank as much exercise as I can while I still have the time/energy. 

Movement: Nope, and I'm really not expecting to feel anything until post 20 weeks.  I'll feel it when I feel it.  But I DO wonder, how do you KNOW what it feels like?

Boy or Girl: Still no inklings one way or the other really.  I'm excited to find out, but I'm not in a huge hurry. 

Milestones: Despite the lack of bump, I'm definitely feeling like I'm getting too big for my regular clothes.  My mom sent me a few maternity shirts a couple weeks ago, and my friend Kim loaned me some maternity pants and skirts.  I had put off trying anything on... partly because I just feel like I'm still in that "in between stage" and partly because of maybe some pride in not wanting to put my old wardrobe away... (denial, much?).  Anyway, I finally broke down and tried those clothes on.  Not so bad afterall!  And MAN those skirts/pants are so comfy around the waist.  And the extra length in the shirts is much appreciated. I also took advantage of a 50% off online sale from LOFT and ordered several maternity items from there, so I'm anxious to try those things on when they arrive.

{Hidden Baby Chronicles} 15 Weeks - A Navel Orange

June 26, 2014

15 weeks = 3/8 of the way cooked.  Crazy! 

Photo Thoughts: Still feeling like this is a "watch my hair grow" photo series.  Where my bump at?!  I think the blog world is tired of seeing my bloat/food baby. 

How I'm Feeling: Still the annoying preggo that feels really good and has very few symptoms.  Sorry?... Definitely starting to notice the beginnings of the major body changes that are in store... which kind of took a bit of a toll on me this week.  More on that later.

Baby/Bump: Baby is the size of a navel orange this week.  Apparently there is lots of movement going on in there with all of the baby's joints and limbs being able to move now.  Baby is looking less like an alien as its ears are now in the proper place and its eyes are moving more toward the front of the face.  Phew! 

Symptoms: More bloating/filling out in the waist area.  Still nothing even beginning to resemble a baby bump though- well, unless it's right after I have eaten a big meal.  Then it's really easy to mistake food baby + preggo bloat for a real baby bump.  I'm also starting to get some seriously annoying pregnancy acne (face and body).  Ugh!  This week I think the baby must have been growing a lot because I had some off and on (at least once a day) cramping.  Well, maybe cramping isn't the right word.  It felt more like twinges and sharp pulling/stretching.

Weight: +4.5. I would totally be pretty OK with this number... if it weren't for the unfortunate event that went down this week and the subsequent overly dramatic body image crisis that followed (see below). 

What I'm Anticipating: I'm starting to get a little bit anxious to see when my belly will actually "pop."  This awkward, in-between stage is getting a little tiresome. I guess I'm just ready to feel like I'm "gaining baby" instead of just feeling like I'm gaining weight. 

What I'm Stressing About/Worries: 2 major worrisome/stressful events for this week:

-I know the timing is not ideal, but I am still looking for a job (the job I have now is just part time and meant to be temporary).  I keep telling myself that by law, an employer can't discriminate against me just because I'm pregnant.  But I do worry about how that revelation will go when/if I find a new job in the next few months. 

-I finally had my first real pregnancy hormone overload emotional meltdown.  On Friday the 13th (of all days), I was just about to head out the door for work.  I bent over to put on my shoes and RIIIIIIPPPPP.  My jeans ripped right up the butt.  I began crying immediately, and threw myself a pity party for a good 15 minutes on the floor of our bedroom.  I was definitely late to work that day.  At the risk of sounding totally vain, this really shook me up for the rest of the day.  It was my first real moment of acknowledging the fact that my body is really beginning to change, and that this is something that (for the most part) is totally out of my control.  I know the changes are all for good reason.  I'm growing a human being for crying out loud- and it's actually pretty amazing that our bodies can do that.  And as ready for that as I thought I was in a lot of ways, I think this very tangible visual- the giant hole in my jeans- made it much more real and scary than I was ready for.  I've struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember.  I've just always been one of those people that gains weight really easily. But I never really felt totally out of control of my weight.  I knew what to do if my clothes started feeling too snug, and I'd feel a little better a few weeks later... but that's not really going to be the case anymore.  In a lot of ways, to accomplish this amazing feat of growing a human being, you really have to entirely surrender your body.  And that's something I'm struggling with more than I anticipated.  So now I'm just really working on accepting all of the changes my body is going to undergo and acknowledging that this is surely the first of many tough body image issues likely to come with pregnancy and post-baby.  But mostly, I'm trying to focus on being thankful and appreciative for the fact that my body can do all of these things to grow this sweet little bub. Wish me luck... 

By the next day I already started feeling better about things.  I dug out another pair of jeans that still kind of fit, and broke out the "Belly Belt" that I had purchased a few weeks back.  That thing made a world of difference.  It's a genius invention, and it made me feel like a new woman.  The should really market those things to the general public around the holidays. :-)

Diet/Cravings/Aversions: Up until this week, I had still been loosely following the eating plan that I had been using before getting pregnant when trying to lose weight.  Don't worry though, I definitely increased the calories to be out of the "lose weight zone."  My goal was to keep with that plan through the first trimester, and I'm glad I did.  So this was the first week that I gave myself permission to put that regimen away for the rest of the pregnancy.  It was fun this week to be a little more free (but still conscientious) in what I ate.  I'm just hoping I can still keep the wait gain moving gradually, even with this change. 

Sleep: Still really good, still impossible to get out of bed in the mornings.  I'm snoozing a little later each morning and seriously now don't have even a second to spare before I race out the door to work.  I'm usually not too tired throughout the day though (once I finally do manage to get out of bed), although one afternoon when I came home from work, I was exhausted.  I had my gym clothes on, but made the dangerous decision to lay down on the couch for just a minute.  That zapped about 98% of my gym motivation, but after about ten minutes of not falling asleep, I surprisingly did end up making it to the gym. 

Gym clothes on, ready to go... but I'm "resting" on the couch.

Dreams: I'm adding this category because I seriously have been having some crazy preggo dreams.  Usually they have nothing to do with babies or being pregnant, but I had one this week where I was changing an awful dirty diaper.  And it was just never-ending... like the entire dream that is all I was doing. 

Movement: Still too early for that, especially for a first-time preggo.  I think sometimes 2nd and 3rd timers feel movement earlier.  I'm guessing nothing until 18-22 weeks. 

Boy or Girl: Who knows?  My mom thinks it's a boy.  And she's visiting with her side of the family this week, and they all seem to think boy, too.  I haven't had any real intuition regarding the gender since the last ultrasound when I had a strong boy feeling.  That has kind of faded though, and I'm pretty 50/50 now. 

Highlights of the Week: It was so fun continuing to share our news this week.  Now all of our close friends are in the loop.  There really is nothing that compares to the experience of surprising people with baby news and hearing/seeing their reactions.